Prognosticating Pigskin Prodigies

Dennis Garcia

Record: Broken

“Before we start on the 2024 college football season, I would just like to ask you three just one question: Who won the 2023 national championship? Was it Duke, Ohio State or Notre Dame, Megan? Was it Western Carolina, Miami, Wake Forest or any of the other teams you pulled for, Tony? Was it Florida State or Appalachian State, Ray? No. It was MICHIGAN! Let’s have some fun in 2024.”

Asheboro at E. Randolph — Impressive wins for both teams to start the new season. ER has one of the toughest defenses in the area and the AHS offense will be tested. ER, 31-10.

West Stokes at Randleman — Shutting out Thomasville is quite a feat. Another impressive opener for a county school. West Stokes also recorded an opening shutout. Let’s keep it going. Randleman, 21-0.

North Moore at SW Randolph — A lot of things went wrong for SWR in its opener. Throwing the ball to Julian Mosley was not one of them. SWR, 22-7.

Western Carolina at NC State — Each of the last seven games in the series have resulted in blowout wins for the Wolfpack. This one should be no different. NC State, 48-7.

North Carolina at Minnesota — In a tight battle, I have to go with the home team. And Minnesota is from the Big 10! Minnesota, 29-24.

NC A&T at Wake Forest — With Virginia and Ole Miss on the horizon, Wake better get some confidence. Wake Forest, 46-7.

OTHER GAMES

Providence Grove 23, Southern Guilford 16

Albemarle 24, Trinity 14

East Davidson 21, Wheatmore 13

East Chapel Hill 32, Montgomery Central 27

South Davidson 14, Chatham Central 0

Duke 40, Elon 17

Appalachian State 40, ETSU 13

Georgia 37, Clemson 17

Miami 27, Florida 21

Florida State 37, Boston College 13

Texas A&M 23, Notre Dame 21

LSU 31, Southern Cal 20

Michigan 34, Fresno St. 13

Ohio State 57, Akron 3

Megan Crotty

Record: Spotty (rhymes with Crotty)

“We got the band back together! Wait, isn’t this the thing I used to win all the time? Well, there are no guarantees this year. I’ve been out of practice for almost six years — do I even remember what a football is?!? ”

Asheboro at E. Randolph — After shutting out their opponent last week on the road with heavy hearts, the Wildcats are back home. And while the Blue Comets have a win under their belts, it’s tough to win in Wildcat Stadium. ER, 28-14.

West Stokes at Randleman — Tigers at home = Tigers win. Randleman, 34-21.

North Moore at SW Randolph — Both teams lost last week, but I’m thinking the Cougars will be hungry to put some points up on the scoreboard in front of a home crowd on Friday. SWR, 24-13.

Western Carolina at NC State — Sorry, Tony, but the Wolfpack are 7-0 against the Catamounts and average 47 points a game against WCU. Ouch. NC State, 47-10.

North Carolina at Minnesota — I spent four years of my life in Minnesota. Can the Tar Heels handle the harsh Minnesota weather? Oh, wait. It’s going to be 80 degrees. Minnesota, 24-21.

NC A&T at Wake Forest — Here’s where I make it up to Tony and pick the Demon Deacons. Wake Forest, 42-24.

OTHER GAMES

Providence Grove 28, Southern Guilford 7

Trinity 42, Albemarle 21

East Davidson 21, Wheatmore 14

Montgomery Central 32, East Chapel Hill 31

South Davidson 8, Chatham Central 6

Duke 29, Elon 21

Appalachian State 14, ETSU 10

No. 1 Georgia 45, No. 14 Clemson 28

No. 19 Miami (FL) 34, Florida 13

No. 10 Florida State 42, Boston College 10

No. 7 Notre Dame 28, No. 20 Texas A&M 0

No. 13 LSU 28, No. 23 Southern Cal 14

No. 9 Michigan 43, Fresno St. 3

No. 2 Ohio State 62, Akron 0

Tony Bolick

Record: Long-playing

“You know, every now and again, you turn a corner in life, you look up and: “They want some of this again?” I feel like Mike Tyson laughing at Jake Paul. Well, *looking over at my irrevocable man card framed on the wall* ... Let’s get it on! (Michael Buffer said it’s too soon to break him out on ’em.)”

Asheboro at E. Randolph — A very early measuring stick on the road for the Blue Comets and their new coach. For ER, it’s a game to make sure it starts off on the right foot (or arm). ER, 21-14.

West Stokes at Randleman — Randleman looks to make 2024’s roll start here and at home. Randleman, 28-7.

North Moore at SW Randolph — The Cougars are glad to be home and aim to get on the winning side. SWR, 24-13.

Western Carolina at NC State — If the transfer portal pirates hadn’t pilfered our lineup, this game would have had the crap scared out of the puppies ... WCU 14, NC State 31 (you didn’t really...) 

North Carolina at Minnesota — Hmmm, what’s Dennis going to do, back up his Big10 or dust off all his ol’ baby blue wardrobe again? ... North Carolina, 26-20.

NC A&T at Wake Forest — Just find us a quarterback — PLEEEEEEEEASE. Wake Forest, 24-10.

OTHER GAMES

Providence Grove 20, Southern Guilford 12

Albemarle 14, Trinity 6

Wheatmore 17, East Davidson 14

Montgomery Central 24, East Chapel Hill 6

Chatham Central 14, South Davidson 12

Duke 31, Elon 10

App 24, ETSU 6 (my nephew rocks w/ETSU band)

No. 14 Clemson 17, No. 1 Georgia 14

No. 19 Miami FL 24, Florida 20

No. 10 Florida State 27, Boston College 10

No. 7 Notre Dame 17, No. 20 Texas A&M 14

13 LSU 31, No. 23 Southern Cal 10

No. 9 Michigan 28, Fresno St. 3

No. 2 Ohio State 33, Akron 6

Ray Criscoe

Record: Convoluted (huh?)

“Admit it, you missed us. At least, that’s what some of you told me. And that’s all it took. So here we are, reunited from different stages in life. As a gift to Dennis, Megan and Tony, I put myself fourth on this initial panel, because I’m a nice guy, and also figuring it would be the only time you’ll see me in this spot this season. (Oh, snap!)”

Asheboro at E. Randolph — Eastern’s defense may shut down the Blue Comets, or we could be in for a little more of a treat in the second year of this Asheboro coaching regime. ER, 31-16.

West Stokes at Randleman — Both teams shut out their first opponents. Hmmm. Flying a little blind on this, but won’t be my first time. RHS, 27-14.

North Moore at SW Randolph — I think the Cougars definitely get on the scoreboard this week, but will they score enough? SWR, 21-19.

Western Carolina at NC State — Look up “cakewalk” in the dictionary. You’ll see a photo from this game. NC State, 46-13.

North Carolina at Minnesota — Dennis is just trying to get me to pick the hated Tar Heels with that equally hated Big 10 remark. Crap, it’s working. UNC, 26-24.

NC A&T at Wake Forest — Appalachian State was getting too good to stay on Wake’s schedule. Maybe it’s A&T’s turn to make the Deacons pay. OK, probably not. But “probably” means there’s a chance for “maybe,” right? Wake Forest, 36-24.

OTHER GAMES

Providence Grove 23, Southern Guilford 13

Albemarle 21, Trinity 20

Wheatmore 21, East Davidson 17

East Chapel Hill 27, Montgomery Central 26

South Davidson 16, Chatham Central 12

Duke 34, Elon 17

Appalachian State 30, ETSU 16

No. 1 Georgia 31, No. 14 Clemson 27

Florida 23, No. 19 Miami (FL) 20 (upset special)

No. 10 Florida State 23, Boston College 17

No. 7 Notre Dame 17, No. 20 Texas A&M 13

No. 13 LSU 31, No. 23 Southern Cal 20

No. 9 Michigan 36, Fresno St. 19

No. 2 Ohio State 56, Akron 9