With thanks and apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, author of “ ’Twas the Night Before Christmas”
’Twas the day of the Fourth, when all thru' the park
Not a creature was stirring — not a chirp, not a bark;
The bunting was hung on the bandstand with care,
Old Glory was limp in the hot, humid air.
The children were napping, a blanket for beds,
While visions of fireworks danc'd in their heads,
And Mom in her capris, and I in few clothes,
Had just settled our brains for a hot summer’s doze —
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the chaise to see what was the matter.
Sunlight on the breast of the dry brown grass,
Gave the luster and sheen of new foundered brass;
Then, what to my wondering eyes should alight,
A legion of choppers, red, blue and white,
With a little old gnome, so tanned and cool,
I knew in a moment it must be a ghoul.
More rapid than eagles his bikers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by name:
“Now! Harley, now! Honda, Indian and Ironhorse,
“On! Yamaha! Suzuki! And Kawasaki, of course.”
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the shelter the bikers they flew,
With their bags full of sparklers — and cherry bombs, too:
And then in a twinkling, I heard a big bang
As the gnome lit his fuse along with his gang.
As I covered my ears, and was turning around,
The little old man approached with a bound:
He was dress'd all in black, from his foot to his head,
And his clothes were so tarnish'd, they filled me with dread;
A bundle of rockets was flung on his back,
And he look'd like a peddler just opening his pack:
His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples: how merry,
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry;
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face, and a little round belly
That shook when he laugh'd, like a bowl full of jelly:
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laugh'd when I saw him in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Set all the canisters; then turn'd with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, on his Harley he rose.
He cranked it to life, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle:
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight —
Happy Fourth of July, and do it up right.
Larry Penkava is a writer for Randolph Hub. Contact: 336-302-2189, larrypenkava@gmail.com.