Pining for normality

I miss the normal times.

You know what I’m talking about. Or, maybe you’re self-quarantined in a 1950s bomb shelter with no means of communicating with the outside world. 

The normal times I miss are when our favorite TV programs are interrupted by ads for laundry detergents, shiny new cars and remedies for maladies, from RA to IBS.

Oh how I yearn for the commercial promoting the pink stuff: “Coats and kills bacteria to treat diarrhea at its source.”

Is it just me or are there others out there who are weary of the current state of affairs with commercial breaks that are wall-to-wall character attacks by otherwise upstanding citizens against their opponents, otherwise upstanding citizens.

We see the same commercials so often that we could — if we were so inclined — recite them by heart. “My opponent (insert name) is in this race for himself, not for you.”

Election campaigns have been this way for at least 40 years. Every quadrennial we brace for the coming ads, each of us coming up with a plan to avoid them.

Some people mute their TVs when political harangues begin. Personally, I’ve found that watching PBS is a means to steer clear of campaign ads. I’ve learned to enjoy operatic arias, nature shows and having a concert by The Eagles hindered by 10 minutes of pleas for my pledge to the station.

On Oct. 29, 2008, I posted the following column about that year’s election campaign. As you can see, not much has changed in 16 years.

                                                                                                              ————

I have met the enemy and it is "them."

I know this because I watch TV political ads. Try as I may to surf past them with the remote, I find that they're everywhere.

One thing I've learned this campaign season is that many of the candidates have the same message: "My opponent is a profligate despot obsessed with using political power to advance his/her ambitions and to make his/her friends wealthy." In many cases the candidates espousing this view are in opposition to one another.

For instance, in the race for U.S. Senate, the incumbent (I've learned from her opponent) voted for tax breaks to companies that are shipping our jobs overseas, and therefore she's against struggling families and out of touch with North Carolina.

On the other hand, her challenger (I've also learned from her opponent), has single-handedly turned North Carolina into the most-taxed state in the Southeast. (It's amazing what you can do when you set your mind to it.)

The governor's race is just as informative. It's been drummed into my brain that Lt. Gov. Bev Perdue is a leading member of Raleigh's good ol' boys, known collectively as the Status Quo Club. Their mission is to raise taxes and give the revenues to their buddies.

What I find intriguing is that she got herself inducted into an elite, all-male society.

Her rival Charlotte Mayor Pat McCrory (she tells me) voted himself a raise while denying the same for policemen and firefighters. He's also at odds (she says) with rural areas for getting highway money that he feels would be better spent on the Queen City's burgeoning transportation system.

He's thus chastised in this informative ad for trying to divide North Carolinians.

The presidential race, of course, is the gold standard for educating the electorate. Both camps are pulling no punches in instructing us as to the foibles of the opposition.

While most ads show pictures of the foe at times when he/she hasn't been properly prepared for his/her closeup, there's one of John McCain in which years have been taken from his age of 72. In fact, as his record is being castigated as a mirror image of George W. Bush, he's pictured looking more like a boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. It appears that he's unsure whether to smile or attempt a demeanor of contrition.

A particularly sobering criticism of Barack Obama doesn't picture him at all. Instead, the camera freezes on a chair purported to be in the Oval Office and suggests he's not prepared to sit there.

Of course, Sarah Palin — McCain's running mate whose experience has also been a subject for the microscope — sets the record straight by saying that Obama is palling around with terrorists.

In the meantime, Obama's choice for VP — Joe Biden — gets little attention. It's almost like he's an afterthought, a future trivia question.

They should all be so lucky.

Note: I should add that Biden is again a trivia question in 2024.

Larry Penkava approved this message. He is a writer for Randolph Hub. Contact: 336-302-2189, larrypenkava@gmail.com.